For those of you who like completely inane questions, here is one about me.  What are the two words I have more trouble spelling than any other?

A:)  Marraige.  (Marriage)

B:) Exersize. (Exercise)

Ready for another question?  (That's a question in and of itself, so here is the third and actual question.)  Which scares me more?  B.

I hate exercising.   I hate running.  I hate lifting weights.  I hate being at the gym watching juicers spurt more pimples while they bench 275+ lbs while I am pushing 60 on the arm machine with my little twigs.  I hate running on a treadmill with no apparent purpose or reason.  (Side note:  I know there is a reason - getting healthy, but it's hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel when you are lifting your feet like a guinea pig on a wheel in a cage.)  I can't concentrate on music - I am constantly changing the songs every 15 seconds.  

But since coming out to Kansas, and being consistently bored, since I can't find a job of any kind in the midwest, I've started exercising, both out of a need for some kind of entertainment and a 10 year desire to lose this ponderous belly I've acquired during my disdain for physical activity. 

I could occasionally lift weights from time to time because I could see results.  Even after one day, I felt stronger, and after a week, my girl was purring like a kitten at my newfound MUS-KULLS.  Rowr.  

But even after a day of walking and running, then 3, then five, there was still not even the smallest of changes to my midsection.  But after about 7 days, there was a nudge.  Maybe half an inch gone?  I don't care.  It's progress.  

But this is what I've learned.  It's SLOW progress.  You can't lose weight overnight.  And even if you accept that - it's not enough.  I need to repeatedly pound it into my head.  Case in point.

Sunday night, we went to Black Hoof Park and walked to the dam, then ran back.  I killed it.  It was the best I've ever worked myself, probably since high school football.  (I wish I could go back and just go through training camp.  Lose 20 pounds and get it over with in 2 1/2 weeks).  I felt on top of the world.  The next night though, we took it easy and went to a slowly building community across the street.  Lots of hills.  We weren't even running, and I felt like garbage.  I was getting shin splints, cramps, my back hurt.  I had to ask Ashley if we could cut it short.  I was embarrassed.  I was angry at myself for quitting.  

But I need to keep reminding myself what a slow process this is.  I start graduate school in January.  That's going to be a slow process.  I need to keep a 3.0 or better just to stay in.  I need a 3.5+ or better to get into any doctoral schools.  It's a LONG process.  I could be in my mid-30s or early 40s before this leads to any fruition.   But just like losing weight, I can do it, slowly but surely.